The Difference Between a Picky Eater and a Resistant Eater

As I mentioned before, we've been seeing a lot of feeding changes around here lately.  In fact, I feel like we have been seeing monumental changes over the past couple of weeks.  Logan has been eating like a champ.  In fact, I feel like he does nothing BUT eat these days.  What a change!!  Chloé's had a bit of an insatiable appetite for everything these days too.

Yesterday, while we were apple picking, Logan ate 4 apples.  

No, that is not a typo.  

He actually ate 4 apples!!!  Including the skin!  

This is the kid who wouldn't even consistently eat an apple a few weeks ago.  He has, on a few completely random occasions, eaten the odd apple - but he generally refuses them when offered one.  Time will only tell if apple picking was just special incentive to eat some this time...

that's right - two at a time!!!

He has also miraculously begun loving corn on the cob this week:

This is the child who, up until recently, ate a very limited selection of foods and refused to try anything new.  At all.  Well, unless it was a new kind of cracker.  Or cereal.  Or ice cream.  And he would throw such wicked fits if we didn't just give him his preferred foods (such as hot dogs and crackers). 

I'm sure that some of these changes are due to tips we have gleaned from our OT, and from the book Finicky Eaters: What to Do When Kids Won't Eat, which our OT recommended to us.  

But I have to admit that I also feel that his eating has changed drastically since we cut gluten and dairy from his diet.  My gut tells me that the elimination of these foods has also contributed to the recent massive changes in eating we have been seeing lately.  I'm suspecting that he is truly intolerant to something or other.  But we will only know for certain whether or not he has any food intolerances once we have reintroduced these foods, in a few more weeks.

These days, I feel like Logan is almost more of a typical picky 2 year old than a resistant eater.  He now tolerates most anything on his plate, even if he doesn't always touch or taste it.  He doesn't gag on food nearly as much as he used to and he hasn't vomited while eating at all lately (thank goodness!).  He is sometimes willing to try new foods on his own.  In fact, he has incorporated the word "try" into his vocabulary, which is huge.  He actually asks us to let him try things now!! (as if we wouldn't!).  We can also sometimes negotiate with him to get him to try a tiny, tiny bite of things he doesn't want to.  And he doesn't freak out when he doesn't get exactly what he wants on his plate the way he used to.  

Mealtimes, though still noisy and chaotic, are much less stressful than they used to be, as he will often sit and eat little bits here and there instead of running around in a screaming, tantruming mess. 

In a later post, I will share some of the tips we have learned that have helped improve his eating.  

But first of all, I wanted to explain the distinction between a picky eater and a resistant eater.  This information comes from the book Finicky Eaters.  

Picky eaters don't eat a huge variety of foods.  They don't like to try new foods.  They have favourite foods that they prefer eating and complain when this is not what is served.  It is quite typical of toddlers to be picky eaters.  And I'm sure that every one of you can think of an adult you know who you would consider to be a picky eater. 

Resistant eaters are further down the severity continuum than picky eaters.  They are picky eaters to the extreme.  We are now in the realm of dysfunction.  Ernsperger and Stegan-Hanson (2004) have stated that "resistant eaters typically have an extreme reaction when presented with new or novel foods that continues even as they grow older".

Picky eaters, in comparison, are less intense in their food choices and in their reactions to novel foods.

The characteristics of a resistant eater are as follows (child demonstrates one or more of the following):

1.  Limited food selection.  Total of 10-15 foods or less.
2.  Limited food groups.  Refuses one or more food groups.
3.  Anxiety and/or tantrums when presented with new foods.  Gag or become ill when presented with new foods.
4.  Experiencing food jags.  Require one of more foods be present at every meal prepared in the same manner. 
5.  Diagnosed with a developmental disorder, such as Autism, Asperger's Syndrome or Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified.  May also have a diagnosis of mental retardation.

Before I read this book, I knew that Logan was a picky eater.  And though I found his eating patterns caused stress in our lives, I didn't necessarily understand that it was abnormal or problematic.  I mean, my gut told that me it was, but everyone kept telling me that toddlers are picky and that it's just normal.  So I was somewhat conflicted between what my gut was telling me and what I was hearing from everyone else.

When I read this book, there was no more denying the obvious.  Logan met all of the last 4 criteria (for number 5, I considered diagnosis with a sensory processing disorder to meet this criteria).  And in terms of the different food groups he ate - at the time I read the book, he would not consistently eat any fruit other than bananas, any vegetables or any meats.  So starches and dairy were really the only food groups he would accept to eat. 

I realized that I was dealing with a resistant eater.

Not much of a surprise.  Logan's been a bit of a resistant everything ;)

Plus, being a resistant eater is very common in children with sensory processing disorder.  Some have issues with the texture of food, some with the flavour (some kids don't like anything with flavour, others crave intense flavours).  And still other kids have issues with the temperature of food (disliking or craving things that are hot/cold).

I have had people frequently tell me that if we were just "tougher" with Logan... more strict and the like... that he would just eat more.

Thing is (and my gut already knew this), pushing a resistant eater to eat... it just won't work.  It'll only make things worse.  These well-meaning people have clearly never actually dealt with a resistant eater.  But in an upcoming post, I'll give you some tips that will actually help you to get them to eat a bit more.

Healthy Date Squares

My sister recently asked me to e-mail her my date square recipe.  And by recently, I mean maybe 3-4 weeks ago.  And I still haven't done it.  I somehow found the time to actually make a batch myself (eat them) and blog it, but have yet found the time to e-mail her the recipe.  Funny how that works sometimes, eh?

So here ya go Kris ;)

I've adapted the original recipe ever so slightly to make them both dairy and gluten-free (see bottom of post).  However, I'll post the recipe as is too so that all of you who don't have to be on this crazy diet can enjoy the real thing.

1 1/2 C all-purpose flour (I used to use whole-wheat)
1 1/2 C rolled oats
approximately 1/4 C hemp seed
1 C lightly packed brown sugar (I find 1/2 C is enough for the regular version; I used 3/4 C in the gluten-free version to hide the taste of the gf flour mixture)
1 tsp. baking soda
1 C butter or margarine (I usually use a bit less)

Date filling:
1 lb. dates, chopped (about 4 cups)
1 1/2 C water
2 tbsp. lemon juice

1.  In a large bowl, combine flour, oats, brown sugar and baking soda.  

2.  Cut in butter with pastry blender or in food processor until mixture is crumbly.  

 
3.  Press half of the crumb mixture into nonstick or lightly greased 13 x 9-inch baking pan.  (I made mine in an 8-inch square pan - I prefer to eat a smaller square with lots of filling).

4.  Date filling:  In a covered saucepan over low heat, cook dates and water for about 15 minutes or until thickened and smooth, stirring occasionally.  (You may need to add extra water while cooking if mixture becomes too thick).  Stir in lemon juice.  Spread over crumb layer; sprinkle with remaining crumb mixture.  

5.  Bake in preheated 350 degree Farenheit oven for about 35 minutes or until lightly browned.  Cut into bars.

 

Makes 42 bars if made in 13x9 inch pan.

For a gluten-free version, use gluten-free certified oats and Bob Red's Mill all-purpose gluten-free flour instead of regular flour.

For a dairy-free version, use Earth Balance spread instead of butter.

For a dairy-free, soy-free version, use coconut butter or Earth Balance's soy free spread instead of butter.

Difficulty level: easy to moderate

Adapted from Cook Great Food.
 

Super-Powered Granola Bars

I think I have died and gone to heaven.

Our naturopath gave me this recipe during our appointment for Chloé the other day.  It was almost worth the price of the consultation just to get this recipe ;)  These granola bars are one of the tastiest snacks I have ever eaten.  This also happens to be an allergy/intolerance-friendly recipe that is packed to the brim with all things healthy.  

This recipe originates from EcoParent.  The naturopath gave me a couple of recipes she had gotten from this magazine, and they all sound super delicious.  And, of course, are uber healthy.  My fave :)

I don't really consider myself to be a crunchy mama.  But I came across this video on youtube earlier this week (as well as the follow-up video) and laughed as I found myself identifying with more than a few things.  Then I took a peek on-line at EcoParent, which I didn't know about at all, and found myself wanting to get a subscription.  

Hmm.... maybe I'm a little crunchier than I thought??? 

After all, I buy into alternative therapies, such as osteopathy and naturopathy.  I breastfed both kids, wore them in slings, co-slept and used cloth diapers until their sensory issues became evident.  And though I do find myself on occasion using processed foods for convenience when life is just too busy with the kids, I am definitely all for eating as little pre-packaged and processed foods as possible.  And I get super excited over recipes such as these with all sorts of random superfoods.

Yup.  Probably a little bit crunchy... lol.

But I digress.

After getting this recipe from our naturopath, I walked into our house, went straight to the kitchen and immediately got to work on these.  That's just how yummy I thought they were going to be.

These are a little more time consuming to make than other granola bar recipes, such as my no bake hemp seed granola balls.  You've got to roast a few of the ingredients and later, melt a few things together.  It's not terribly tough, but just a few more steps than many other traditional granola bar recipes.

But let me tell you... these are soooooooooooooooooo worth the effort.  I think these must be the best gosh-darned granola bars I have ever tried in my life.

Now, I'm usually pretty able to make delicious treats, have one, and then leave them in the kitchen without further obsessive temptation.  For instance, I can control myself without effort around peanut butter brownies, even though I LOVE peanut butter.  Same with some of my favourite sinful muffins, such as muffins that taste like donuts and maple syrup muffins.

But I somehow had a repeat of when I made that delicious homemade French brioche earlier this year...

I think I had two of these bars in the afternoon before picking the kids up from daycare.  And then another upon my return.  And I then had to use every ounce of willpower in me to prevent myself from having a fourth before going to bed.

Even Logan is in LOVE with these.  Yesterday, I packed two HUGE pieces for our visit to the hospital for his eye blinking.  I figured that that would be plenty of food for both him and myself, even if we got stuck there a long time.  

Nope...

He had polished off BOTH of the huge squares by 10:30 a.m., barely leaving me a bite!!!  And each was a big portion even for me!

Ah well... This'll be a great way to stuff him full of healthy things.

Because not only are these delicious.  But they couldn't be healthier if you tried.  Flax, chia, hemp... what else could you ask for??

Now, I'm not sure what exactly makes these so darned delicious.  So I'll tell you how I made mine so that you can replicate.  Or choose to do differently.  Whatever suits your fancy.

As an aside, this is the first time that I've ever used coconut oil (which I had coincidentally picked up at the health food store just a few days earlier).  So I'm not sure if that's part of why they were so good too.  

I used:

•  brown sugar, because I didn't have any coconut sugar
•  maple syrup, only because I prefer it's flavour to agave 
• dried cherries because I didn't have goji berries or dried cranberries.  Mmm... I think that the mix of slightly salty with the sweetness of the dried cherries is part of what I loved so much!
• chocolate chips, because I didn't even know what cocoa nibs were until googling them!

I omitted the lemon zest, only because Jérôme doesn't love lemon and I thought it kinda sounded weird in a granola bar anyway.

Just a quick note also, that I get my hemp, chia and ground flax at Costco.  Which is also where I had gotten my dried cherries.

2 C oats (or gf oats) (I used large-flake)
1 C sunflower seeds (I used raw unsalted)
3/4 C unsweetened shredded coconut
1/2 C hemp hearts 
1/4 C chia seeds
1/2 C ground flax seeds
1/3 C coconut oil
2/3 C maple syrup (or agave syrup)
1/4 C coconut sugar (or brown sugar)
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 C goji berries (or cranberries)
1/2 C cocoa nibs (or chocolate chips - for dairy-free chocolate chips, you can buy these ones here) 
1 tsp. lemon zest

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.  Line an 8 x 12 inch baking dish with parchment paper.

2.  Toss the oats, sunflower seeds, and coconut in a bowl and spread out on a dry sheet pan and toast for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned.  (Don't skip this step - they're not nearly as tasty if you don't toast everything).

Oops!  I can't read directions.  I also toasted the hemp seed.  Turned out fine :)

3.  In a small pot, melt the coconut oil, maple syrup, coconut sugar, and salt on medium heat until it boils.  Stir for one minute and take off heat.  

 
4.  Add vanilla and toss over oat mixture, adding all the rest of the ingredients, and combine well.  (Note: the chocolate chips melt into the mixture as you stir.  If you prefer they be whole, wait for the mixture to cool before adding chocolate chips.  Though I liked it this way, as it gave the entire bar a bit of a chocolatey flavour).

  

  
5.  Pour mixture into parchment lined 8 x 12 inch baking pan.

6.  Bake at 300 degrees Farenheit for about 20 minutes, until golden.  (Note: I cannot read directions and only noticed the temperature change while typing.  I baked mine at 350 degrees and love how they came out a bit crunchy.  But if you prefer less crunchy bars, you'd be better to follow the original directions).

7.  Let cool in pan before cutting in squares. (Or just scoop it all directly into your mouth!).

Makes 30 squares

Tip:  If using the goji berries, try eliminating the lemon zest for a slightly more conventional granola bar flavour.

Difficulty level: moderate 

Nuts About Nuts!!

I saw our naturopath this morning and...

I CAN HAVE NUTS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel this deserves a blog post all of its own.

Or maybe even a party???

So excited does not even begin to describe how I am feeling right now.  My mind is whirring with ideas of different peanut butter treats to whip up.  Such as my no bake hemp seed peanut butter balls with REAL peanut butter!! 

or, perfect for fall, peanut butter apple crisp.

There's also my personal favourite, which I haven't made in a couple of nut-free years, pender harbour bars:

or even just plain pb and natural homemade strawberry jam on gf toast. 

There are just so many possibilities!

I also wanted to quickly share a little food update regarding my kids.  

We re-introduced soy to Chloé this past weekend - via a very delicious soy chai latté, which I have missed oh so much this past month!!!  (note: I am breastfeeding and did NOT give the latté directly to Chloé!!). 

And I am happy to report that so far, so good.  She has been a bit fussy and bothered by all things sensory since yesterday, but I think that is related more to her having started full-day daycare than anything else.  She had been fine from re-introduction until yesterday.  Just to be sure, our naturopath wants me to keep testing until Monday and re-eliminate (then re-introduce) soy if she is still fussy on Monday.  Fingers crossed, as I love me a good chai latté, even if it has to be soy.

My other update is that both kids are eating soooo much better since we started cutting out a few foods.  In the past couple of weeks, Logan has started eating boiled egg whites, quinoa, guacamole (nope, not Willie's delicious guac, a natural Costco version, as I've just been too busy!), corn, peas, watermelon, grapes, mandarin oranges and strawberries.  He has also tried AND swallowed a few very tiny bites of both chicken and salmon, which is a HUGE change for him.  

Also very notable is that he has started mixing textures a little bit.  He has eaten pretzels dipped in peanut butter and nachos with guacamole so far.  Which is a huge, huge step for him and a good entry for us into the mixing of other textures.  In fact, he loves nachos and guac so much that he screams for "guaccoli" for breakfast in the morning.  Yesterday at the park, when I had only pretzels for snack, he kept saying "want some yogurt, want some grapes, want some watermelon".   And I thought, finally!!! Something other than crackers!

Chloé has also made huge changes in her eating.  She has gone from pretty much eating only smooth purées and some crackers to eating textured purées, including ones with pieces, as well as watermelon, banana, raspberries, peas and quinoa.  Real ones!  Not in a purée.  Before, she wouldn't put any pieces of anything except cracker into her mouth.  She would also pick out chunks in purées, after gagging on them and would then refuse to eat anything else.  What a difference!
 

little monkey #2 suddenly LOVES her watermelon!!

 

between the two of them, the kids have me running to the
grocery store almost daily for more watermelon

As I mentioned before, both kids have been referred to the Pediatric Feeding Program at the local hospital.  We got a call that Logan will be seen next week and Chloé, likely a few weeks later.  So I suspect that we will continue to see such great progress with feeding :) 

Practical Sleep Solution for Too Early Risers

You wanna talk bad sleepers?  I could go on for hours.  

I've tried just about everything on earth to get my kids to sleep.  My kids are not the "let's just go to the mall and wander around in the stroller for a nap" kinda kids.  In fact, they're not even the "let's put them in their crib to nap" kinda kids.  

With Logan, the fact that I was 100% unable to get him to nap on his own in his crib stressed me out.  

People told me non-stop that I was creating bad sleep habits.  I was told that because he wasn't napping in his crib, or because he was co-sleeping with me, he would never learn to sleep on his own.  And I somewhat bought into it.  Not fully, mind you, as I kept doing what I was doing.  I mean, I had tried all of the conventional advice - don't rock him to sleep/rock him to sleep, let him cry/don't let him cry, put him down at regular times/put him down when he looks tired.  Blah, blah, blah.  And when all else failed, I was then told that it was because I wasn't being consistent with one method.  I just couldn't win.

I recall that at around 9 months of age, it still wasn't unusual for Logan to wake up every hour from about 1am until he'd get up for the day between 4:30-5:30.  And the only way I could get him to nap for more than 10 minutes at a time was to lie down in bed with him.  Or put him in a sling.  Even the car was kind of hit and miss.  

So I just did it.

I wore him non-stop in a sling:

I co-slept with him at night and napped with him during the day.  

Because, despite what all of the nay-sayers were telling me, I NEEDED TO FUNCTION!!!!  And really, the naps certainly weren't doing me any harm, pregnant with our second.

Chloé has been a bit of the same.  Her nights have been more hit and miss than Logan's were.  She's had periods of great sleep and other bouts of constant waking.  Naps, however, have never been her forte.  As with Logan, the only way I can get her to nap is either to nap with her, or to hold her in my arms while she naps (sucking my boob the entire time... a world of joy...).  

I've come to understand, now that I know that my kids have SPD, exactly where these difficulties come from.  And, might I add, thank goodness I didn't listen to everyone who was telling me I was just being too much of a pushover.

Due to proprioceptive issues, my kids can't tell as well as others where their bodies are in space.  So when they awake (as one does briefly - often imperceptibly - several times a night), panic sets it.  This is because they can't tell where their body is in space.  

Additionally, the proprioceptive feedback they would get by squishing their little bodies against mine helped calm them enough for them to fall asleep.  Since the time both kids were able to roll, they have rolled over the second I lie down and glue themselves to my side.  They can be in the deepest sleep in the world and the second I try to inch away, they wake up.  The proprioceptive feedback is gone. 

In fact, it used to make me so sad when I would sneak in on Logan once he was asleep (once he was older and sleeping better).  After having cried himself to sleep for what felt like forever, I would find his little head jammed into the corner of his crib.  Once I understood that this was related to his SPD, it made me sad to see that the only way he was able to soothe himself to sleep was to ram his head into the wood of his crib.  

This is a lot of why Logan now surrounds himself with everything he can find to sleep, as I mentioned here.

Also, given my kids' self-regulation difficulties, as related to their SPD, it was MUCH more difficult for them to learn to soothe themselves to sleep (and back into sleep once aroused), as compared to other kids.

Both of my kids are also super sensitive to sound.  Think super-sonic hearing.  Their hearing is in fact no better than average, but they notice tiny sounds much more than others.  So any little, tiny noise woke them immediately.  Damn those wood floors!!!  It got so bad that my husband and I would argue at 4 or 5 in the morning, as I'd try to encourage him to "just hold it!", knowing that Logan would wake the minute my husband's foot hit the floor.

Once we had both kids, this meant that when one of them made the slightest noise, it instantly woke the other.  I cannot count the number of nights I spent up much of the night, alternating between each being awakened by the other.  This also has made it difficult for us to let them cry themselves back to sleep.

My kids are also both super sensitive to movement.  They could be dead asleep in my arms, and the second I would start to lower them into their crib, they would wake up in a panic, arms flailing and be unable to fall back asleep (even if left for hours).  This has been confirmed by a friend of ours who has a son the same age as Chloé, who tried to get her into the crib for me.  She came back crying defeat, saying she'd been way more careful putting Chloé down than her own son, but that she'd startled the second she had moved.

And finally, my kids are both also hyper-sensitive to touch.  Neither was able to stand being on the floor on either their backs or their tummies as babies because they didn't like the feeling of it on their bodies.  However, both have found being on their backs to be the most challenging (to this day).  The sleep of both kids improved somewhat the minute they were able to roll themselves over to their bellies, off of the position of being on their backs that they disliked so much.

So all that to say that sleep has not come easily to my kids.  Which means that it hasn't come easily to me in the past 2+ years either.  Many night wakenings and many, many super early mornings, as I've mentioned before.

As I said here, Chloé has been regularly sleeping through the night since we cut out dairy, soy and gluten from our diets.  I had also mentioned here that Logan is now not getting out of bed until 6:30am.  So I am over-the-moon happy to report that I am also now getting to sleep through the night.  H-E-A-V-E-N!!!

And I wanted to share the trick that helped us to finally help Logan stop waking up so darned early.  

It's the simplest thing in the world.

So simple that I feel kinda dumb for not having thought of it myself waaaaaaaaay earlier... (so many nights of lost sleep!!!)

I saw this on pinterest.  Thank God for pinterest.  Otherwise I may have never slept a full night.

We started this when Logan was maybe 2 years and a month old.  I suspect it may have even worked a bit earlier.

All you have to do is hook up a regular timer (like this one here) to your child's nightside lamp.  And program it to whatever time you want your child to get up.  So basically, if you want your child to sleep until 6am, you program the timer to have the lamp come on at 6am.  

What could be easier?

Now, for this to work, you have to not get your child out of bed until that light comes on.  No matter what.

When in "training" phase, when Logan woke earlier than the scheduled time, I'd go into his room and tell him it was still night time and that he had to sleep.  I'd say "sleep is all done when the light comes on".  And then I'd leave.  And he certainly fussed and cried the first few nights.  But he very quickly figured out that I wasn't coming back for him.  And within maybe 3 or 4 nights, he'd figured out to not even bother making a peep.  That is, if he was even still waking.

The other important part of this is that once the light goes on, if you hear your child, you've got to go get them immediately.  It's all part of training them to know that the light means they get out.  And the dark means they don't.

And as with anything relating to kids, consistency is key.  Super important.  If you sometimes let them out before the light comes on, they're gonna learn to push the limits and this isn't going to work for you.

Now, of course, you can't expect your child to go from waking at 4:30am to sleeping until 6:30.  I'd suggest you increase waking time every couple of days by 15 minutes.  So we started at 5am and worked our way up to 6:30am. 

My only hope with this was that Logan would sleep longer.  Or at least stay in his crib and leave us alone and let us sleep later.

But wonder of all wonders... he not only learned to sleep later... he also somehow learned how to regulate himself all at the same time!!!  So instead of waking up a screaming, tantruming mess, he now wakes up most mornings super happy and ready to start the day.  Instead of needing 45 minutes of help from me to have his engine running "just right", he now hops out of bed and starts playing immediately.  

Who is this kid???

Not that I'm complaining...

It is so much more pleasant to wake to the sound of "mommy" or "daddy" instead of wailing.  Our mornings have become soooo much more pleasant because of this simple tool.  And my patience has grown tenfold now that I'm not starting my day at 4:30am!  Thank God for Nicole at Baby Food Scoops for sharing this.

Do you have any sleep solutions that have helped your kids sleep better that you'd like to share?