Today, I officially diagnosed myself with a moderate case of boredom. Lately, I've been lacking any motivation to do much of anything. Not that there aren't a ton of things that need to get done. Like finishing decorating the Christmas tree. Or sending back the papers our financial advisor sent to us weeks ago. Or finally organizing the front closet so that I can actually find two mittens that are the same colour. Or maybe, just maybe, finishing the blanket I was making for Maddy that has sat untouched pretty much since I got pregnant again. But for some reason, I just can't find any motivation these days to get much of anything done.
Of course, besides cooking/baking and doing my blog, which is thriving. I guess this is all part of what I enjoy doing and what constitutes 'my space', when I don't have the kids crawling at my feet (or sometimes I do and I'm just ignoring them), which is probably why I've been doing so much lately in the kitchen.
I think that part of the blah lack of motivation these days comes from not working out. I'm a bit of an endorphin junkie and it's now been over two months that I haven't done anything more strenuous than go for a walk. Or carry 30ish pounds of kids at the same time (perhaps along with a grocery bag/diaper bag or two). And I'm missing the 'me time' that working out constitutes. I was getting excited to hit the 6-week mark and get back to some of my favourite activities: yoga, pilates, zumba, when my physio told me last week that she wants me to still wait a little while longer before working out. Perhaps just a month or two. But at a time when working out is the only thing that motivates me to get out of the house at all, this came as a bit of a disappointment.
And so I'm back to not really wanting to do much of anything (though I will do the exercises she gave me to be able to get back to real exercise). So I've diagnosed myself with a moderate case of boredom. You know how there's that optimal level of stimulation that gets peak efficiency and results? You know how it is - if you have too much to do, you're sometimes overwhelmed and don't know where to start. And when you don't have much to do at all, you can't actually motivate yourself to do anything? That's about where I am on the scale these days. Don't get me wrong. Who doesn't love spending their entire days changing diapers and wiping snotty noses, doing laundry and incessantly mopping the floor that is covered with food, thrown there on purpose? It certainly keeps me busy enough, but I have to admit that it doesn't give me much of an endorphin rush.
I've come to the realization over the past few weeks that I'm not cut out to be a long-term stay-at-home mom. I love my kids to death. Love spending time with them. Love the tickles, the giggles, the grins and the non-stop kisses. But I need more. And I've come to a point in my life where I'm not afraid to admit that staying home full-time with my kids just doesn't float my boat. And that doesn't mean that I love them any less than another woman who chooses to stay home with their kids. I'm learning to not feel guilty about this and know that if I do what I need to keep myself happy and fulfilled, my kids will also be happy.
So my goal over the next couple of weeks/months is to regain a bit more balance in my life again. To maybe go for some walks without the kids, where I can stick on my MP3 player and at least recreate that bubble I get into at the gym, even if I can't be there just yet. And I'm going to try to find a new hobby that I can pursue just for myself... to try to reach that optimal level of stimulation where you get things done efficiently. After all, my mat leave is only one year long and the to-do list of things I'd like to accomplish will never get done if I keep hanging around doing nothing all day.
Of course, one of the things I'll definitely keep up as a "me" activity is my cooking/baking and this blog. Though I suspect that as I start go be able to get back to my "real" life, the frequency of my posts will decrease again. In the meantime, I'm taking advantage to try all sorts of new recipes. This one comes from the cookbook Flans, Fars et Clafoutis that my mother-in-law had given to us. We've had it for awhile, but I had yet to make anything from the selection of delicious-sounding recipes.
Although my husband has made both cherry clafoutis and banana chocolate clafoutis (I will have to post that one day!), we've never made a savoury clafoutis. I thought that we would be able to cut this into slices, as you can a sweet clafoutis. But the texture of this recipe is somewhere in between scrambled eggs and an omelette.
The recipes calls for 2 cups of cream. Ouf! Though I love good food, I don't typically use much cream, unlike the French. I suggested to Jérôme that we substitute with milk, but there was no having it for him. So I decided to make it once with cream, to see what it is supposed to taste like. And next time, I'll make it with milk. I'm sure that it will still be yummy, all the while appreciating that there is no way it will taste as good as it did with cream. Mmm... I served this last night with some carrot and coriander soup.
75g flour (scant 2/3 C)
2 C 15% cream
2 tbsp. olive oil
10 mint leaves, minced
100g of feta (if you don't have a food scale, just estimate, based on the weight of the entire package of feta)
salt and pepper
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
2. Cut the feta into cubes.
3. In a bowl, beat the eggs until a bit frothy. Progressively add the flour and cream. Beat well until you obtain a smooth mixture. Add in the feta. Add salt and pepper to taste (don't forget that feta is already salty).
4. Rinse the zucchini and then shred them. Cook them in a pan, in the olive oil, for approximately 10 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste . Add the minced mint leaves. Drain the zucchini mixture and then mix into the egg mixture.
5. Lightly butter a pie plate. Pour the mixture into the dish and cook for 25 minutes.
Variations: Cut the zucchini into rounds instead of shredding it. The zucchini can also be replaced by carrots.
Diabetic-friendly if you use milk instead of cream.